Specialized Counseling for Children and Teens After a Suicide

In the aftermath of a suicide it is often said that children are the forgotten grievers.  

The adults around them are often consumed by the tragedy of the suicide and they can miss that the children are suffering in their own way.  Kids and teens will process the loss on a different level and may not relate or share how they are feeling with you.  They have seen the adults in  their lives suddenly crying and out of control of their emotions.  They are used to looking up to you, and suddenly they are often confused.

IT IS IMPORTANT THAT YOU FIND A GRIEF COUNSELOR AND A CHILDHOOD BEREAVEMENT GROUP TO ASSIST THE CHILDREN AFTER A SUICIDE LOSS.  

There are many great grief programs for children and teens across the USA.   Many of them are free.  You can find a list of them here: National Alliance for Grieving Children: Finding Support  Many of these groups can provide you local lists of individual grief counselors that they maintain.

Here in NJ there are several local grief groups for children:

• Good Grief     

  • Website: www.good-grief.org

  • Telephone: (908) 522-1999

  • Email: info@good-grief.org

  • Grief support programs for grieving children, teens and young adults

  • In Morristown and Princeton NJ

• Imagine Center for Coping With Loss     

  • Website: imaginenj.org

  • Telephone: (908) 264-3100

  • Resource: Brochure

  • Located in Westfield NJ

  • Year-round peer grief support center for children age 3-18 coping with loss due to the death of a parent or sibling. Concurrent support groups are available for parents and guardians. Adult peer support groups are available for young adults 18-30, adults 30-50 and adults 50 and up who are coping with loss due to the death of a spouse, parent, child, sibling or other significant person.

• Comfort Zone Camp     

  • Website: www.comfortzonecamp.org

  • Telephone: (201) 867-2077

  • Email: info@comfortzonecamp.org

  • Offers year-round free weekend and week-long bereavement camps for kids 7-17 and young adults 19-23 who have lost a parent, sibling, or primary care giver.  Once or twice a year they hold a 3 day weekend camp for children 3-17 and young adults 18-24 that is specifically tailored to suicide loss.  Call for more details.

Helping Children and Teens Cope With A Suicide Loss

• Children, Teens and Suicide Loss

  • Resource: 28 page PDF

  • Summary:  Handbook for parents and caregivers to assist children after a suicide loss

  • Author: AFSP and The Dougy Center

• Suicide Loss: What Teens Need to Know

  • Resource: 21 page PDF

  • Summary: Self-help for Young People who have Lost a Family Member or Friend to Suicide

• When a Child's Friend Dies by Suicide 

  • Resource: 2 page PDF

  • Summary: When your child’s life is touched by the suicide of a peer or a friend, you may find yourself experiencing a lot of different things about the same time. Initially,you will most likely be stunned by the death.

• Coping with Suicide Loss, Telling Children 

  • Resource: 5 page PDF

  • Summary: For many adults, suicide can be very upsetting and frightening. If you find yourself having to explain suicide to a child, you may be wondering about the best way to do it. You can even be so overwhelmed that you feel tempted to “protect” the child by saying that the death was caused by a heart attack or an accident, rather than by suicide. To help, here are some practical guidelines.

• When a parent dies by suicide… What kids want to know 

  • Resource: 6 page PDF

  • Summary: 

• When A Parent Dies by Suicide…What Kids Want to Know

  • Resource: 4 page PDF

  • Summary: 

• After a Suicide: Answering Questions and Assisting Students

  • Resource: 4 Page PDF

  • Author: Rutgers University Behavioral Health Care 

  • Summary: The aftermath of a youth suicide is a sad and challenging time for a school or a community. The major tasks for suicide postvention are to help youth manage the understandable feelings of shock, grief and confusion and to prevent further suicides

• Suicide Resources from The Dougy Center

  • Resource: 2 Page PDF

  • Author: The Dougy Center

  • Summary: 

Talking With Children and Teens About Suicide and Grief

• Talking to Children About Suicide

  • Resource: 2 page PDF

  • Summary: 

• Coping With Suicide Loss…Talking with Children

  • Resource: 4 page PDF

  • Summary: 

• Explaining Suicide to Children 

  • Resource: Webpage

  • Summary: 

• What to Tell Children of a Loved One’s Suicide? 

  • Resource: Blog Post

  • Summary: 

• Private vs. Secret: Coaching Children on What to Share

  • Resource: Webpage

  • Summary: Helping children to understand how and when to talk about suicide with others.

• Talking With Children About Tragic Events

  • Resource: Webpage

  • Author: The Dougy Center

  • Summary: 

• Children’s Grief Education Association – Words that can help/hurt

  • Resource: 1 Page PDF

  • Author: Children's Grief Education Association

  • Summary: A short list of words and expressions that you can discuss with children when dealing with grief.

Helping Children and Teens Cope with Funerals and Memorial Services

• Preparing Your Child For Attending the Funeral of a Friend 

  • Resource: 1 page PDF

  • Summary: Tips and guidelines for helping your child participate at a funeral

• Preparing a Child to Attend a Memorial Service

  • Resource: 3 page PDF

  • Summary: The decision to allow a young child to attend another child’s funeral or wake is sensitive. Use your discretion. There is no right or wrong. Your personal decision is okay. 

Understanding Traumatic Grief and Children

• Understanding Grief and Age Appropriate Reactions to Traumatic Events

  • Resource: 13 page PDF

  • Author: Richard Hall Community Mental Health Center

  • Summary: 

• Sibling Death and Childhood Traumatic Grief: Introduction to Childhood Grief Information for Families

  • Resource: 16 page PDF

  • Summary: Like adults, children and teens may feel intense sadness and loss, or grief, when a person close to them dies. And like adults, children and teens express their grief in how they behave, what they think and say, and how they feel emotionally and physically. Each child grieves differently, and there is no right or wrong way or length of time to grieve.

• Parent Guidelines For Crisis Response

  • Resource:  4 page PDF

  • Summary: 

• Coping with Crisis—Helping Children With Special Needs

  • Resource: Website

  • Author: National Association of School Psychologists

  • Summary:  When a crisis event occurs—in school, in the community or at the national level—it can cause strong and deeply felt reactions in adults and children, especially those children with special needs. Many of the available crisis response resources are appropriate for use with students with disabilities, provided that individual consideration is given to the child’s developmental and emotional maturity. Acts of healing such as making drawings, writing letters, attending memorial ceremonies and sending money to relief charities are important for all children.

Understanding Child and Teen Grief

• Sesame Street: When Families Grieve 

  • Resource: Webpage

  • Summary: 

• New York Life Foundation: After a loved one dies— How children grieve and how parents and other adults can support them

  • Resource: Website

  • Resource: 24 Page PDF

  • Summary: 

• Understand Death, Grieving & Mourning :  Bereavement Resource Book

  • Resource: Website

  • Resource: 48 Page PDF

  • Summary:  Cornerstone of Hope,  Centers for Grieving Children, Teens and Adults

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• Helping Children Cope With Loss, Death, and Grief Tips for Teachers and Parents

  • Resource: 4 page PDF

  • Summary: 

• American Counseling Association - Grief Reactions over the Lifespan

  • Resource: 2 Page PDF

  • Summary: A listing of age appropriate responses based on age.  People of different age groups respond differently to grief.

• Teen Grief 

  • Resource: 48 page Workbook

  • Resource: 8 minute video Part 1

  • Resource: 8 minute Video Part 2

  • Resource: 8 minute Video Part 3

  • Summary: This booklet and accompanying videos have been developed to help you understand your grief and to let you know that you are not alone. Many teens are sharing the same journey, and help is available right now.

• Children's Grief Education Association

  • Resource: Website

  • Summary: 

• National Alliance for Grieving Children

  • Resource: Website

  • Summary: 

• Suggestions for Helping Children

  • Resource:  1 page PDF

  • Summary: Children have the same emotional needs after the suicide of a loved one as adults, but often their hurts are not taken seriously. Many times adults have their hands full of grief and do not think to reach out to the children. Here are some ideas. 

• New York Life Foundation: A Child In Grief

  • Resource: Website

  • Summary: 

• Understanding Childhood Grief and How to Help: A Guide for Adults

  • Resource: Webpage

  • Author: Rutgers University Behavioral Health Care 

  • Summary: Traumatic Loss Coalitions for Youth – Grief reactions/helpful responses

• Developmental Grief Responses

  • Resource: Webpage

  • Author: The Dougy Center

  • Summary: 

• Tips for Supporting the Grieving Teen

  • Resource: 3 Page PDF

  • Author: The Dougy Center

  • Summary: 

• Tips for Supporting Grieving Children

  • Resource: 3 Page PDF

  • Author: The Dougy Center

  • Summary: 

• Supporting Grieving Siblings

  • Resource: 3 Page PDF

  • Author: The Dougy Center

  • Summary: 

• Companioning the Grieving Child Curriculum Book

  • Resource: 94 page PDF

  • Summary: For children and teens. The PDF files for the Companioning the Grieving Child Curriculum Book activity handouts and worksheets - See more at: http://www.centerforloss.com